I have this really big problem. It shouldn’t be a problem but I don’t why it is!
I’m friends with this girl, let’s call her Kate. Kate and I are really good friends. We know almost everything about each other. Sometimes we act like we’re dating- that’s what we’ve been told. We both love each other but not in that way. Okay in that way too but like… I don’t know. It’s the dating-kinda-love but we aren’t dating.
We’ve kissed a few times- all of which included alcohol. We have had heart to heart conversations, I’ve taken her to lunches and dinners (we aren’t very morning for breakfast). We’ve been to the movies together, held hands and whatever else couples do. All except for sex- let me be clear about that. So basically, we’re a very platonic couple. We both despise the idea of dating. We both just want to have fun and not be tied down by a relationship.
Okay, here comes the problem…
Whenever she hooks up or makes out or flirts with someone else, I get really angry at her. I don’t show it or tell her about it but I don’t why I get angry. I mean, I shouldn’t, we’re just friends?! I don’t want to ruin the friendship I have with her.
One of my friends made a rule and she made it explicitly clear that HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WITHIN THE CIRCLE IS FORBIDDEN. We all follow that rule. I especially follow it because she threatened to cut my dick off if I don’t.
A lot of times, I have sat down and asked myself “Why do I get so angry?” but I’m never happy with the answer that comes.
Yes, I love her but I don’t want to be in a relationship. I’m not really jealous or hurt just angry.
Emotions are such a pain, honestly! I don’t what this is but I need to figure it out.